Astounding to see that I have not posted here since December 2012 but the past year and a half have been rather massive in terms of change for me.
I have been dealing with family illnesses and surgeries, deaths of loved ones, happening upon the love of my life (whom I've been with for over a year now), trips to Virginia, Washington DC, and Arizona, work and publishing deadlines, coming out as a bisexual to my family, a move from the country to the city, the births of two new family members, financial scares, and much more.
Some of the events that have taken place since I was last here have aggravated my anxiety and depression to an overwhelming extent - sometimes including rather dark periods and places where my trust issues have been exacerbated. As such, I have fully left Gaol Naofa (and the online GP community). While I still support the organisation’s efforts and wish them all the happiness and success, I am no longer a part of the organisation for personal reasons.
My life is merely going in another direction. In 2015, I might even possibly be relocating to California and with that I'll be entering the whole new world of stress and anxiety that comes with a cross-country move. Because of that, I need to switch priorities onto taking care of myself and my family. While the community will always be in my thoughts, I can no longer devote substantial time to it. My mental health will not allow it, and I need to focus on healing.
With the death of my grandfather last spring, my spirituality became more of an intellectual pursuit rather than a living practice. I could read history books, articles, dissertations, etc and write about Gaelic Polytheism and the Gaelic cultures but as far as wanting to practice it, no. I felt a distance growing in me with his death - never had I lost someone that dear and close to me. It was an earth-shattering blow. Thus, part of the healing I need to do lies in finding myself within my practice again.
Some of the changes happening here will hopefully include me blogging a bit more, but it's even quite possible I start afresh somewhere else. We shall see.